Welcome to my art/journal blog! I am, by all accounts, a curious and unique creature. But first the obligatory bio references that I know I am expected to put first for the short-handers:
Bio:
I was born late 1959, and have had many titles, and described as many things, some to my face–scholar, legal eagle, non-conformist, trouble-maker, powerhouse singer, songwriter, artist, misfit, rambler and a gambler after a fashion, multi-linguist, explorer, quirky, rigid, and more recently disabled–all but the last have been in my life resume, I guess, but for being disabled, which see as a legal description and external attitude, by virtue of the state of my body parts, loss of mobility and other physical functions, and because I’m a “bubble girl”. The functional and physical details are details, nonetheless, and I embrace all these as facets of my journey thus far, but they are just that. Being disabled I don’t see, notwithstanding the details. I’ll save the details for another writing and mood. Who or what am I? That is a better question, perhaps, and you will come to our own conclusions, as you choose, or were hardwired to do.
I have been known by many names, but they, like labels, don’t seem to stick very well. My husband gave me perhaps the most humorous last name, Earley, by most accounts an oxymoron, as I have no sense of time!! Literally! In many ways God chose to make my uniquenesses both visible and hidden, the visible being the deceptive tip of a large iceburg, at least until key details surfaced a few years ago. Obscured were the whys, whatsits, and wherefores that would have made clarity at least possible, were there anyone with eyes to see it. I myself only knew who I was, but not what, or relative to others or why, until just the last few years.
I am “well-lettered”, with degrees with various honors and Latin words and so forth attached, in religious studies spread across two distinguished universities and esteemed faculties (comparative religion/religious history, emphasis on cultural relativity, political, legal, and philosophical underpinnings, influences, game-changers-enough to choke a grown elephant!), and a law degree from a prestigious school, all of which, due to medical leaves from frequent illnesses poorly comprehended at the time, and a few detours of marriage, children, and adventures abroad, took almost 22 years to complete.
After law school, I was happy to be scooped up for a nearly 10-year run in a legal & high level deal-maker/closer role, that morphed into sort of a “one-woman-think tank/fixer/sometimes hired gun-bad cop/innovator” role with a major worldwide corporation….what I consider still to have been one hell of a ride until the very end, that netted me more great adventures than I can count!! Worth it?? You bet! Sustainable for me? No, actually, and change was thrust upon me, as some biological and developmental time bombs silently ticked down and imploded in 2008, that unearthed some shocking facts that would no longer be ignored. It was clear that the time had come to unravel, unwind and examine the threads of my existence, rewind,and figure out how to crochet myself a life in harmony with my reality, and find how and where I now needed to be, embrace reality and reintegrate. It’s a process that has had many twists and turns, not all of them palatable to everyone around me at times. While there’s much that has been said and can be said about that, my short take on it is that I believe it will eventually lead to a greater journey and adventures in the future.
I was married for many wonderful years to a lovely man, with whom I had many truly excellent adventures, and though we came to a fork in the road and took different paths, I recognize that my path, inevitably the one less travelled, must be so for a reason, and though it is right for me, is not easy and most are not equipped for the long journey thus. But it is where I need to be. He has returned to his beloved open roads where he needed to go, each of us feeding our souls with what–and where– we needed to be. Though I cannot follow now, nor can he stay on my path, my joy for his journey and deep gratitude for our sharing and the precious memories keep him always in my heart!
I was blessed with 2 utterly amazing children, and 3 precious grandchildren, and a daughter in law that I cherish like she was my own flesh! Though this part of my journey, and in fact my very nature, can be too much even for them to process at times, much less share, except in brief visits, they gained much from me that has helped them, as well, and the rest? Well, they love me no less, and I them, despite the bumps in the road. With understanding for me came acceptance of some blunt realities, and this was a big one; some days I admit that I wish it were otherwise, but then I know that there is purpose and value in this, too, even if I miss them and feel sad at times. So for now, my journey is solo, shared only by my faithful service dog, Gentle Ben, a 4 year old Redtick English Coonhound, and a petite little calico cat long ago named Kali by my son. Kali fancies herself to be a great huntress of the wildlands, and her name may well be apt, considering the long list of moles, mice, snakes, frogs, lizards, birds, and yes, cute little rabbits who found their demise at the tips of her claws and teeth!
This is my first foray into art journaling and and art blogging, begun the summer of 2009, weeks after i drew for the first time in my life. I didn’t think this was ever possible for me. I have always been a visual thinker but no way to express, and was forced to use verbal language as the only way to express myself for most of my life, so I kept absorbing one language after another, multiple alphabets and families, seeking to build bridges, but with only mixed success. Then I got some help from docs who could help me with treatments that gave me some control over hand-eye stuff, that was damaged with a very bad early childhood head trauma, and I’ve been amazed at how effective it is for me! This is also my first experience doing art of any kind, so I have no training, so this is a great adventure for me!
Back Story:
The truth of who and what I am and have always been, well was cloaked in mystery, and the subject of much debate over the past half century, by foes and fans alike!! In short, I was a walking paradox, an enigmatic creature, poorly understood if at all until the past few years. There have always been blind men, and women, of all kinds, who have crossed this “elephant’s” path, and no doubt always will be more that will come, who, with only their narrowly defined truths, values, and definitional yardsticks, and from their internalized vantage points, up VERY close, like the proverbial blind men, or from such a distant ivory tower, as to render me at best a blur on their radar, if they ever actually looked at all. Each no doubt earnestly believed that the canned labels assumed to be sufficient to get at the truth of practically all things of significance, that they could accept, and therefore looked for, that did not threaten or compete with their intuitive universe–some variation on an “a\b\or,occasionally c” type of one-to-three-sizes-fit-all yardsticks (a convenient shorthand of bias filters that serve to maintain a safe and manageable order in their world view). While this Cliff Notes style of dictionary has appeal for its apparent simplicity, and is often a more sellable model to pitch and work from, there’s a reason that Shakespeare did not write his plays like some zip file, and, fortunately for the world, had there not been many of us who were formed outside of these Cliff Note pocket guide parameters, the entire world, if it still existed, would likely be little more than a post-apocalyptic rock, to which stragglers may yet be clunging for survival, waiting for some tortured end runner to discover their hiding place, and finish the job. While quick and dirty is efficient, it presumes you can get there from starting with assumptions regarding one’s essence, and from there extract the facts that fit.
I am living proof that the model doesn’t hold in significant ways. My challenge is navigating the masses of bucket people and survive savage mobs of ignorant label gunners, and do some more good with what I have.
thank you for visiting and following my site! it sounds like your story is quite a struggle in many ways and yet you seem to have a peace about your writing. xo
Thank you for replying to my bio. Interesting that you mentioned struggling and peace–the great juxtaposed states that drives us all toward or away from myriad moments, each with a great potential to be defining, dependent upon what we do with them. I’m not special in either, unless I do something meaningful with them, or because of them, that matters by my yardstick. I can see I mow have a post cooking on struggling and peace, that you’ve inspired! Thank you!
Ha! That’s great! i look forward to it!