Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘self-portrait’

image

Maya Angelou’s quote, and this picture are so integral to the metaphor of my intrinsic nature!!  I thought it was just me, and although I am no doubt a special creature of God as we all are, I feel less “one-of-a-kind” in the lone survivor sense in  the world after seeing this, and that has always felt like a sharp two-edged sword to me-like being unique but can feel lonely at times.  Thanks, Maya..reminder I’m not the last of my kind, perhaps I have distant cousins in nature!!!

Read Full Post »

beaautiful creature s-p 052010 small file-1

This began as an elaborate graphite sketch in my small sketchbook, and I transferred the sketch to a notebook cover, then drew it out some more, and painted it in acrylic.    The image was not something that I thought about drawing; it sort of arose on the paper.  I later realized that it was very much a self-portrait, not perhaps in the literal sense, but maybe spiritually?  Everything about it says beautiful, natural, authentic, what I feel coming from it.  I think that I am perhaps more connected to this painting than many others, yet where is it?  Hanging on some wall of pride?  Nope.  It’s painted directly onto the soft cover of one of my notebooks.  You can see the curves on the edges, and lots of scratches.  I’ve recoated it a couple of times as it picked up stain and scratches.  I’ll have to put something a bit more durable, I suppose.

Does it make you think about beauty?  What sort of creature this is?  If it’s a self-portrait, what sort of creature am I?  Indeed, that is the question, is it not?  If you understand this creature, you will also understand how it is a mirror of me inside….

I’ll say this much, if you haven’t picked up from other posts:  I find creatures much more comfortable than people to be around.  They have an inner consistency and logic that I can understand and relate to.  Trying to play human rules is just plain stressful to me.  The rules they claim are broken more than followed.  Their social *intuition* usually gets them quicker conclusions about things, but wrong much more often than they will ever realize, and probably mostly won’t have to discover.  Their social intuition are more like blinders than wisdom, shorthand that they treat as if it’s longhand, and forget that when they fill in the blanks later, their shorthand may show that they missed it.  You probably have no idea what I’m talking about, but I am not socially intuitive with people, because people are filled with contradictions.  I “read” them, “read” the environment, “read” all the details, and do the math and figure out what things mean.  The rest of the creatures of the universe?  Social intuition is a fine thing, because they operate within their own logic, their own rules, and those can be understood.  They make sense in the context of the creatures.  But humans?  Not so much.  But when the intuitive process yields disaster, they call in creatures like me, to tell them what went wrong, and build a better working model, if possible.

When creatures like myself get themselves born, but they have a limited set of things in common with humans around them beyond what they actually look like, it can be tough sometimes to find a truly “familiar” face, a “kindred” soul.  But I do look for them sometimes, or at least keep my radar on, in case one shows up someday.  I’ll settle for a few humans who can accommodate a gentle creature like myself, who can leave me to be me and that’s just great for us all! 

Read Full Post »

focus on pain doesn't help 102509

This is me, in pain, yesterday, in fact, and when I’m in pain, this is where I have to start to manage it, and this is what I can take, literally and figuratively.  Can’t take pills for pain, so I have 3 things at my disposal:  my two hands (to the extent that they are working that day) and my brain to manage pain and plug into a creative flow that can help me to not focus on the pain.  I post what I draw to manage pain, but thought it was important to also document where I have to come from to use art in pain management, and this is an actual portrait of me in the throes of a nasty flair.  I think the face tells the whole story.  I sketched this from photos that I took yesterday with my webcam during a bad pain episode, just before I started drawing.  My husband says this is excruciatingly accurate; it certainly *feels* right.

 

 

 

Pain Isn't Pretty I can sometimes draw some cool things at these times, but no, pain is NOT pretty, and it doesn’t feel pretty—AT ALL. I’m just grateful to be able to do something to get through it.  It was disturbing to even draw this, because I don’t like to focus on the downside.  I don’t want to do this very often, but it’s important to me to document the painful reality that is my starting point.  I think it’s clear that I was not in a good place, and not letting pain beat me is essential.  If I can start from right here and DO something to get through this, I can “take” anything, even if I can’t TAKE anything for the pain, and I can get through it.  Keeping my pencil sharp for what comes next….

Read Full Post »

HarsH ReaLiTy

A Good Blog is Hard to Find

The Baggage Handler

I made the impossible easy in both worlds!

prophetbrahmarishi

Just another WordPress.com site

Love. Life.

It's simple, yet powerful.

Life in These United States

Rantings of a Puerto Rican/Irish Gal...

Life is but a dream!

Wisdom from all around the world.

Bucket List Publications

Indulge- Travel, Adventure, & New Experiences

Abandoned Kansai

All abandoned: Chernobyl / Pripyat, Nara Dreamland, Anti-Zombie Fortress, Japanese Sex Museum - and many, many more! Plus: North Korea Special - 2 trips, 16 days / 14 nights! As seen on CNN...

Phillybookpick's Blog

GREAT BOOK PICKS -In the World of page turning thrillers !

Break Room Stories

Service Industry Stories and More Since 2012

Sumthin' Creative

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Lorna Phone

visual essays for a digital world

My Life Disconnected

adventures in a disturbed mind

Kay Solo

I suck at writing taglines.

Espen Stenersrød- From Pen To Heart

Jack Kerouac with a scent of Henry Vaughn

C PTSD - A Way Out

A place to check in daily