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Posts Tagged ‘personal journal’

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Doctor’s appt today to circle back on how I’m doing.  I’m both looking forward to this and dreading it, all at the same time.  So much to review about options.  If they ask me what’s my number, I must NOT blow up at them!  Argh….pet peeve when you have a chronic illness!  Okay, find my quiet place…calm…..waited so long since the last review.  I was so patient,especially for me!  I’ve come a long way; I can do this! My other doc appts went well, and hopefully I can get this guy on board with making sense of how to better manage all these comorbid conditions and not fry my brain in the process!  He listened to me last time and earned my respect; I need to trust that it will be easier for him this time with more information.  I’m bringing comparison images for him, in case he’s forgotten how I looked last time.  But I’ve lost so much weight since then, and so much muscle!  <sigh>  I can tell that the steroids are starting to lose their effectiveness, though symptoms are still not as bad as without them, assuming I don’t use any of my joints.  How much longer till I can get this in remission?  Hope springs eternal (stubbornly so with me, thank goodness!)

BE BRAVE!!  YOU ARE BRAVE!!  IT WILL BE OK!! 

Sheesh, my heart is racing!  Why do I get so anxious about these meetings?????  Nothing else has triggered anxiety for me in quite a while, now I’m having this completely unhelpful reaction.  Gotta jet, and take a little calming time before my appt. 

Well, I’m bringing some doodling with me, and that always helps.  Working up some new pattern sheets for some of my abstract zen kinda stuff that I use for pain management and stress reduction.  Will post them as I finish them.  There are 12 pattern squares to a page, and developing new designs takes a little longer than putting down patterns that I’ve already worked with.  Still, it’s very calming and opens up flow.

 

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Greater Than the Sum of My PartsWell, today I did feel better, and I did go back and finish this image, as I saw it in my mind’s eye.   I like this picture very much, as well, it tells a story.  But the other picture, well, it IS a story, and they are both wonderful parts of the (w)hole that is me!  This was done in graphite, colored pencil, pens, and markers.  I feel glad about both of them!

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Water World St. 1

Ok, this is not the first phase of this new piece, just because I failed to scan the earliest step, but this will have to stand as Stage 1 (b).  Stage 1(a) was the background, which was drawn in graphite, then shaded to get values, then light colored pencils, followed by watercolor, and it isn’t finished yet.  There is still more detailing and shading to be done to the background.  Stage 1(b) was drawing the main image and adding gesso to it for opacity.  There is still more drawing and painting to do, including the hair and detailing of the image, and there will be an additional image that will be painted in, which will enable the background to show through.  There will also be an additional image incorporated that I drew earlier in the week.  Ultimately, this piece will incorporate graphite, colored pencil, oil pastels, various acrylic media, and layers of collaged tissue layers—all my original work.   While I think that it’s obvious that the beginning of my main image clearly has a mermaid in it, this piece will have a surprise ending, so stay tuned!

 

This is the first time that I have done the background (which itself is a significant image in its own right) before the main image—by accident, actually!  It was just an exercise in my sketchbook trying out watercolors for the first time (ever), and when I stepped back and looked at it, I realized that it was perfect for this piece.

 

 

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angel of mine stage 2-b

I wanted to take another stab at this piece at an earlier revision, as I really liked it, even if I didn’t like the background, but once I got the background/context, I had problems with the media at the time.  I have reworked the wings and coloring and light on this version, and I am quite happy with the texture of the wings, but I think I still want to redraw/paint the wing that is furthest away, and I want to bring it forward to align/parallel the other one, which has been redrawn & painted to extend more toward my son.  I’m definitely happier with it now than I was, but haven’t decided how I want to revise the background integration with the image of the two of us.  And I’m working on two other journals right now, as well, one of the family homestead, and one of my very precious daughter.  But tonight I don’t feel well, and am going to leave this one as it is for tonight.

 

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