Doctor’s appt today to circle back on how I’m doing. I’m both looking forward to this and dreading it, all at the same time. So much to review about options. If they ask me what’s my number, I must NOT blow up at them! Argh….pet peeve when you have a chronic illness! Okay, find my quiet place…calm…..waited so long since the last review. I was so patient,especially for me! I’ve come a long way; I can do this! My other doc appts went well, and hopefully I can get this guy on board with making sense of how to better manage all these comorbid conditions and not fry my brain in the process! He listened to me last time and earned my respect; I need to trust that it will be easier for him this time with more information. I’m bringing comparison images for him, in case he’s forgotten how I looked last time. But I’ve lost so much weight since then, and so much muscle! <sigh> I can tell that the steroids are starting to lose their effectiveness, though symptoms are still not as bad as without them, assuming I don’t use any of my joints. How much longer till I can get this in remission? Hope springs eternal (stubbornly so with me, thank goodness!)
BE BRAVE!! YOU ARE BRAVE!! IT WILL BE OK!!
Sheesh, my heart is racing! Why do I get so anxious about these meetings????? Nothing else has triggered anxiety for me in quite a while, now I’m having this completely unhelpful reaction. Gotta jet, and take a little calming time before my appt.
Well, I’m bringing some doodling with me, and that always helps. Working up some new pattern sheets for some of my abstract zen kinda stuff that I use for pain management and stress reduction. Will post them as I finish them. There are 12 pattern squares to a page, and developing new designs takes a little longer than putting down patterns that I’ve already worked with. Still, it’s very calming and opens up flow.
Pretty Real Behind the Veil 
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