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What is D’ger to Me? I guess you have to go way back to the first Star Trek movie to get it, but replace V with D and it’s kind of me. And parallels in many ways my autobiography, except the resolution. Not sure I ever made it to that. But that’s okay I evolved into a different life form. I’m okay with that. Ok here’s the gist of it:
Star Trek Wiki: http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/V’Ger
First Star Trek Movie:

The V’Ger vessel

This Of course is not the Vger vessel of course below, but rather aspects of the “D’ger vessel” in the abstract:
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Nature: Vessel enclosed in energy cloud
Power: Twelfth power
Origin: Earth and Unknown
Diameter: Surrounding energy cloud diameter of two astronomical units, equal to that of the Earth’s orbit
Armaments: Plasma weapons
The massive entity that called itself V’Ger (also called Vejur or The Intruder) was one of the most extraordinary lifeforms ever encountered by the United Federation of Planets. It generated enormous levels of power and threatened Earth with destruction until it found a way to evolve.

The machine planet
V’Ger had an extraordinary ability to evolve. It was discovered that the evolution of this once simple probe into a complex, powerful entity began after it was pulled into a black hole shortly after leaving Earth’s solar system.

Voyager 6 emerged from the black hole in what was believed to have been the far side of the galaxy, and fell into the gravitational field of a planet populated by living machines. These beings found Voyager 6 damaged by its travels, and the identifying plaque attached to the probe’s exterior had been burned leaving only the letters V, G, E, and R legible; the inhabitants of the machine planet renamed the probe V’Ger.

These entities found V’Ger to be primitive, but of a kindred spirit. They discovered the probe’s simple, 20th century programming, “learn all that is learnable and return that knowledge to the creator”, and interpreted these instructions literally.

Reprogramming
Reconstructed through highly advanced technologies as a vast space-faring artificial organism, V’Ger was augmented with a three-dimensional data collection and storing apparatus magnitudes beyond anything previously known to Federation science. Likewise providing it with effectively immeasurable defensive and sensory capabilities, the inhabitants of the machine planet gave V’Ger the ability to fulfill its programming in a far more complete fashion than the scientists who originally built and launched the vessel at its core ever imagined.

Sentience
At the heart of V’Ger, the crew of the Enterprise found the ancient Voyager VI probe
While traversing the vast distance back to Earth, V’Ger collected data via its 3D imaging system, but it destroyed the objects that it encountered along the way. However, it accumulated so much knowledge that it eventually achieved consciousness and became, like its benefactors, a living machine. As a machine it was only capable of pure, cold logic with no emotion, but with its new-found sentience V’Ger began to question its own existence. It asked the philosophical questions faced by so many lifeforms: “Is this all that I am? Is there nothing more?” The answers, V’Ger decided, could only be found with its creator on Earth.

Threatening Earth
With the cloud just 54 hours away from Earth, Starfleet dispatched the only starship within interception range, the newly refitted USS Enterprise, to determine both what it was and how to stop it if possible. When the Enterprise arrived at the cloud’s coordinates, it determined that the entity had an energy output surpassing that of thousands of starships.

By assuming a non-threatening posture, the Enterprise was able to deeply penetrate the cloud surrounding V’Ger and begin to gather information. During this critical time, however, the starship was cut off from all communication with Starfleet. As V’Ger entered the Sol system, spherical energy “bolts” similar to those that had destroyed the Klingons and the Epsilon IX station, only vastly more powerful, were launched by the entity. The energy spheres proceeded into courses that would place them into equidistant orbits around the planet, at which point it was predicted Earth’s entire surface would be devastated.

Realizing it lacked the intuitive, irrational elements which allow Humans to deal with some complex, non-scientific concepts, it came to believe that only its Creator could help it to leap beyond logic. In order to obtain the answers it needed, V’Ger wished to meet and become one with its Creator. To this end, it sought not only to receive the acknowledged signal from the Creator, but to merge with the Creator.

But V’Ger had been reprogrammed to such an extent that it had come to think of biological lifeforms as an “infestation”, and destroyed any that it encountered. When V’Ger encountered the crew of the Enterprise, its confusion over its true nature was so great that it could not comprehend what it was told – that it had been created by the very organic lifeforms it saw only as imperfections that must be cleansed.

In an effort to meet its Creator, V’Ger refused to accept the pre-programmed transmission that would signal it to transmit its accumulated data. The probe burned out a relay connection, hoping to force the Creator to come to its heart so that they could merge. Realizing that the only way V’Ger would understand was to add Humanity to its experiences, Captain Willard Decker, who was deeply affected by the loss of Ilia, his former lover, sacrificed himself to become one with the machine lifeform. Decker rewired the relay connection and keyed in the final sequence of the transmission manually. This prompted V’Ger to begin transmitting its data, effectively merging with Decker and the Ilia probe, thus taking V’Ger to a new level of existence. At last satisfied with its answers, V’Ger disappeared in a blinding flash of white light, leaving Admiral James T. Kirk, Commander Spock and Dr. Leonard McCoy of the Enterprise to discuss the possibility that they had just created a new lifeform made of V’Ger’s logic and of Humanity’s ability to feel and to believe. What V’Ger evolved into remains unknown to this day. (Star Trek: The Motion Picture)

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Unblinking The Moments

Death..life…
Being…becoming…
We are beautifully the same….thank you for the gift!

(from my backyard)

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If I can dream it, I can experience it!! Imagining, even after almost 4 years, is still sweet!! Terrifying, dangerous, thrilling to contemplate, to remember each time that I’ve thought, “Onward! Courage! The abyss be damned! If the world won’t come tomto the bubble, bring the bubble to the world!” The dream is no less beautiful…..

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SONG FOR TODAY

SONG FOR TODAY.

No value have words

Beside a life lived by choosing to

Embrace life,as it comes, and love over labels …

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*A Moment of Your Time?

*A Moment of Your Time*

Perfectly on time, in and out, each has its own time,
As we arrive at a moment, it departs; a moment waits for no one.
It carried a gift for you; did you drink it in, or blink? It’s gone!!

I confess I was busy thinking in the wee hours this day, with my service dog Ben..moments only but the moments are all we really have, not yesterday or tomorrow, and that quiet sacred still time when I can just be there with it, the connection and energy is palpable!! And was intoxicating!! Not much blinking, just treasuring something better than drugs, booze, money, or even working legs and eyes!!!! If I still had my legs and eyes, would I have been feeding my soul with moments, like they were nectar of the gods? Would I appreciate moments as I do now?? Doubtful. I was always running. But instead, today, we enjoyed our time with the deer, possums, a raccoon, birds, a snake, and other creatures of the night!

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When I was a kid and my grandfather officially retired, I remember my grandmother fussing about him being underfoot, he trying to get his bearings with transition to retiree, and she trying to adjust to the constant presence and get her work done. It seemed silly to me then—why would it be a bother?? Free time…check. Income..check. More together time with loved ones..check, right? Isn’t that the rule?. Entanglement and disruption never crossed my childlike mind!

I failed to appreciate the perspective, until a) my husband retired a few years ago, and my solitude was gone, then b) more tangibly as I was looking at this nearly perfect metaphor for her problem: giving Ben extra lead to stretch and shake off the nightly thunderstorms, and the lead kept getting “under foot”..literally! That lead coming up between the feet of the wheelchair, can be crippling in the moment and frustrating, and illustrates the problem in a very concrete way that a child could have understood : how entangled and cluttered life sometimes gets when freedom and new paradigms force you to consider that even freedom, though it is a blessing and respite for many, still creates its own challenges in our lives and for those whose live we touch. Sometimes necessity requires adjustment to make it work for all.

Just about any major change and minor ones too, can alter the dynamics between partners–spouses, housemates, my service dog and me–living things connected/bound to each other. Changes that are part of normal life, though expected, can be disabling, sometimes unexpectedly and irreparably, like my marriage, like some kinds of disability, and that can throw everything into chaos. I guess the difference between me and most people is that I expect unexpected challenges, and realize that I can’t fix them all. Others may have to make peace with their own adjustments. Those things I have to let go of, but this situation, at least was doable. I find these temporary entanglements a bit annoying, the adjustments– challenges that I struggle to be patient with when I don’t yet know what they’ll be, but inevitably when they come, they are never really as frustrating or annoying as I think they’ll be.

This is the start of my day. Since the proper ramp is still under construction, I today again took my 400 pound wheelchair out the door and down the cliff face aka the temp ramp. It did not roll, but slid abruptly down the steep decline–more like a slide than a ramp, though not nearly so treacherous on the decline as the backslide with my diminutive frame coming behind it on the return, praying it wont crush me again!!

Let’s just say I’m beyond grateful to the Knights of Columbus in Durham, and the ramp that they’re building, and that they will have it finished in the next few days. And though I was not expecting my massive pink 30 year old azaleas to disappear from existence suddenly from my back deck within minutes–a shocker I’ll admit-they were nearly 20 feet tall– I am extremely grateful to the fencing company, who graciously are giving their time and materials to start installing the backyard fence for Bennie yesterday. It will keep him and me safer, and if I had to give up my azaleas for that, it is worth that! People with autism of any IQ can relate to the challenges of unplanned changes, especially from familiar things.

I have to say that my gratitude is expanded around the efforts of these good folks each moment and especially on such occasions, and in the interim, I continue to put my soul in the hands of the deity to watch over us while we risk all to live a little. It’s worth it. And that is a beautiful thing. Have a blessed day!

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