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Posts Tagged ‘coping’

20120711-092328.jpg

This is a quick 10 min pencil sketch of me last night.

Then I read this post that our lives are the products of our choices. Partly true but not entirely.

Some days JUST SUCK and there’s not much you can do sometimes to Prevent the sucky part, and you just have to ride it out. Yesterday and the day before I’d like to erase from my calendar, but eventually I won’t feel the same. For now, still in the SUCK zone till I’m done.

Ok I’m responsible for MY choices, including how I feel/what I do within my ability, about others’ choices that affect me, but unless blaming & judgment actually contributes to solution (now or future), that’s the extent of its value for me. But it also depends on the tools that I have to work with and most people don’t l know how to change their toolbox.

Important not to discount perspective about how injustice kept hidden can shape a human being profoundly. The right to articulate one’s perspective about a happening is very important–and more, to be heard. Sometimes that can make a problem a non-problem or prevent getting stuck with hard-wired blame/shame reflexes.

Theoretically, one can CHOOSE, provided their brain is physically hard-wired intuitively to do that; if not, it is possible to rewire, but only with intrinsic motivation and a minimum of ~ 6 months of relentless practice, step by step over and over. Worth it?? For me yes, but I’m not hard-wired to fall back on cognitive distortions as much as other people. Always open to an impressed when I see people develop this who didn’t develop it growing up.

Even then, cog biases as like muscle memory–your brain WANTS to do what it’s used to doing-unless something has tipped the scale that changes the priority, we fall back on defaults and still do when we’re tired and hurting and no resource to focus energy on doing something vastly different. And it’s why I forgive daily other people who do things in ignorance when the red flags and clear facts were in their hands. Eyes can’t see what filters block.

Bottom line: it’s not quite that simple to weather a storm by ordering up a sunny disposition–can’t hurt, and if authentic it helps when you’ve got nothing else. But it just doesn’t show up like fast food; it’s like an acquired taste for a dish that takes a long time to prepare, and skill of a fine Japanese sword maker. Great ideal, though, and the journey for me is worth it however close I get.

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